Kain's Domain

So I woke up really tired last night from staying up so late writing out that last post. I know the time of it says 11:45 pm, but it was actually finished being written and posted at close to 1:30 am. O_O! (I had some chatting and other things slow me down -- darn you and your SA, Steph! ) So I eventually got to sleep at maybe around 2:00, and woke up at 7:00, which gave me a mere five hours of rest...

Last night, on the way home from work, I stopped by the eye place and picked up my contacts, but decided to wait until this morning to put them in. I managed to get them in fairly well (it'd been some five years since I last wore contacts) though I must admit I'm not exactly used to feeling them in there again. It feels kinda cloudy in my eyes.

And as I'm looking in the mirror at work, I suddenly remember one of the reasons why I stopped wearing contacts. Lately, I've had to answer questions, mostly from the people at the eye place, as to why I stopped wearing them. And I gave them what I thought was an honest answer; that I hated putting them in every morning. Of course, this was a major factor. But looking in the mirror earlier made me suddenly remember the one reason that I had long forgotten... I look much less attractive without my glasses. Ugh... Now people can focus on how my hair doesn't fall the right way instead, or that my face is just...plain. Whoopie! *Sighs*

I started hanging out in the cafetaria again this morning, now that I'm not as sick and the stars aren't shining as brightly in my eyes anymore. However, I walked in to find that someone had stolen my table! The table that I usually sat at off in the corner of the room (yeah, I'm a wallflower even in the most literal sense, I like to keep off to the sides next to the walls or in corners) was just totally gone! The chairs, they were there, sure. The table? Total splitsville. So I sat next to the wall at the table the girl I kinda liked often sat at. She came in, but the bigger guy she often sat with couldn't stay, so she didn't either. I did have a short conversation with her before she left, though. She said she wasn't really looking forward to leaving for her new job, as she doesn't like change. Which I can relate with; I don't like change very much at all...

Then at 9:00, I headed to my desk to begin work. Ended up finishing my first batch and went to take it down to drop it off around 10:50, when I noticed that girl I've been getting to be friends with was standing there talking to someone. Okay, I give up, I gotta give her a name to use instead of "that girl I've been getting to be friends with." It's just, I typically assign fake names based on personalities, and I couldn't really come up with a fake name to fit her's. Well, she's Irish, so how about..."Erin"? Works for me.

So anyways, as I approach Erin, she tells me that her ex-boyfriend is back to stalking her again (she thought he had given up yesterday, but apparently not.) She was now locked out of her work computer because of him. The way the computers are where I work, you have three chances to enter the correct password, and then you're locked out and you have to call the central place and have them give you a temp. password or something to get back in. Her ex even admitted to her that he's been trying to hack into her work login from where he works, and she changed the password to something he would never get in a million years, but he keeps trying, and it's ending up locking her out every single day. She has to keep calling them to issue her a new password, but she's worried that it's making her look incompetent. She's like, "Never date a psycho." Definitely great advice, which I really wish I had received long ago. Hehe.

She said she was going to tell her supervisor what's going on, in the hopes that maybe she'll be able to put a stop to her ex's hacking attempts. And I definitely wish her good luck with that. I just worry, though, because if he gets in trouble at work because of it, who knows what he'll do? I mean, the guy's a psychotic stalker, who's already been attempting to hack into her E-Mail, LiveJournal, hacking in at work, following her around...

Both me and that girl I kinda liked have played the part of a bodyguard for Erin, walking her out to her car after work, because of the chance that the ex might try something. I'm happy to do that, of course, but it still worries me because who knows what he's capable of... I don't want to see anything happen to her. Okay, so I worry too much. I admit that. But it's better to have a friend who worries too much than not at all, right?

Anyways, I hadn't taken my break by this point, so I used it to hang out at Erin's desk, talking to her for a bit while they worked on restoring her computer login. She showed me her bag, and how it had purple fuzz all over it from her sweater. That's when I noticed the purple sweater she was wearing, and immediately after that, I noticed she was wearing a long dress. Now anyone who knows me really well, knows that I have several weaknesses when it comes to females. Three of which are redheads (Erin's hair seems Auburn, which is close enough,) sweaters, and long dresses. You add in the fact that her sweater was my favorite color (purple) and all I can say is "wow!" She looked very pretty. I really wish I had brought in my camera today.

But how do you compliment a girl on how she looks without sending the wrong impression? I've never really complimented girls on their looks in the past (aside from my ex-girlfriend who would go psycho on me if I ever tell her she's pretty, or Steph because she's known me long enough for me to know she's not going to get the wrong impression.) It's not only because I'm rather shy and get embarrassed about saying such things, but because I'm afraid they might interpret an innocent comment like "You look pretty today" as something more like, "I've got the major hots for you, just looking at you makes me stand at attention, what I wouldn't give to ravage you six ways from Sunday!"

Well, two weeks ago, that girl I was kinda attracted to came into work wearing a very pretty long blue dress. I noticed this right away, after all, I saw stars whenever I looked at her, so there was no way I could possibly miss this, what with my weakness for girls in long dresses. But there was also no way I could possibly just come out tell her that her dress was really pretty and she looked nice. But I did manage to work up the nerve after two hours to say it in an E-Mail. I mean, I just had to tell her, not only because I wanted to compliment her, but if I was ever going to get up the nerve to ask her out, I had to start somewhere. (For what it's worth, she replied saying "Thank you. :-) What a nice thing to say!", so I was happy.)

At this time, Erin was telling me how the two of them were rather mischevious, and I jokingly said I would have to keep an eye on them then, especially today. Now, I could have left off the "especially today" part, but I tacked it on there as a way of prodding myself to go through with complimenting the girl I liked. Erin asked why today especially, and I said it was because this other girl looked very pretty that day. But as soon as I sent that, it clicked in my head; "Is it a good thing to compliment one girl in front of a different girl without complimenting that girl as well?" That's like saying, "Hey, this other girl's pretty, but you're chopped liver."

So in my next E-Mail to Erin, I said how I hadn't actually seen her that day, so I couldn't honestly give her a compliment as well. She jokingly said she didn't need compliments from people (I'm starting to wonder how much of it was joking though, as she really doesn't seem to like being complimented...) But, I swung by her desk as she was working, and E-Mailed her back letting her know now that I saw her that day, she looked nice too. Which wasn't a lie, she did look pretty (I mean, she's got the auburn hair thing going on, she's always going to look pretty,) but I guess it wasn't really too sincere either...

But today, Erin really did look very pretty, so before I left for my appointment at the oral surgeon, I stopped by her desk to make sure the girl I kinda liked wasn't there training her, and then sent her an E-Mail with a PS that read something along the lines of: "PS: Don't read this the wrong way, because I'm not complimenting you for the same reason I complimented her two weeks ago, but you look very nice today." (I needed to make sure this other girl wasn't there so that she didn't read the PS and realize one of the reasons I complimented her two weeks ago is because I was attracted to her.)

I figure, I may not have really been too sincere two weeks ago, but I owed it to her to be sincere today, because she definitely had it coming to her today. I was rather worried, though, because I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. I think of her as a friend, and I didn't want things to get weird between us if she got the wrong impression, you know? And "Erin", if you ever actually do end up reading this some day, don't hold any of this against me.

Anyways, I split to the oral surgeon soon after, and it took an hour to get there. Then, I ended up in the waiting room for another hour and a half or so because they had two emergencies come up. O_O! Then finally I get in there, and after a consultation which cost me $80 (!) they told me that the work on my teeth is going to cost me $298! And that's after my dental insurance takes care of their part. They set up an appointment for me on Sept. 2nd, which will actually give me four days to heal since I'll have Labor Day off. I ended up leaving the oral surgeon at 4:30, and I got home around 5:45 (We stopped at Subway on the way, and I got myself another nice, tasty sub. Yum!)

Sometime during the ride home, I remembered Erin telling me she was staying overtime tonight, and that's when it hit me... "Oh, crap... The girl I kinda liked leaves work at 4:30, so she's not going to walk Erin to her car, and I'm not there to do it... What if the ex ambushes her on the way out?!" I started to worry, so I E-Mailed her at work, and she said another co-worker of her's was going to play bodyguard that night. So my fears were relieved. Never, ever date a psycho!

Anyways, I'm off to watch tonight's Angel and hopefully have time for the final episode of Hercules on DVD. 'Night all.