Kain's Domain

Well, I got into work this morning and suddenly developed a horrible sore throat, which continued on for the day. I still have it, I think it's the first sign that I'm coming down with a cold.

Well, today I begin the sulking process once more...

At work, we have this guy, I'll call him...Edgar. During the picnic, Edgar seemed to have his pulse on what goes on in the office, regarding things like relationships and such. So about three weeks ago (two days before I went out to the bar with that group from work,) I pulled Edgar off someplace where others would not hear us, and I asked him about this girl I'm attracted to. It was simple things, "Is she seeing anyone, how old is she, etc.?" and told him I just wanted to get to know her as a friend. He said she was single, and a couple years older than I was (which is a first for me, usually I'm attracted to girls younger than my own age.)

So for the next couple weeks, I admired her from afar, trying to work up the courage to ask her out (something I've never done in my life.) We had a couple chats here and there, but I choke trying to talk to girls I'm attracted to offline but not involved with. But finally, today, I decided I had enough with the anxiety and waiting, and I wanted to make a move. The problem is, as I stated, I've never asked a girl out in my life. All the girlfriends I've had, I was either set up with, or they hit on me...

So I asked this other girl at work who I've been getting to be friends with (the one who gave me a lift to the bar) if I could walk her to her car after work, because I wanted advice. So I met with her at 5:00 and after a bit of stalling (it wasn't easy for me,...) I asked her how you ask someone out. The first thing she said is to make sure the girl is single (check!) and then if you're friends with her, you could try inviting her to a group event. I said we weren't really that good of friends, and she asked me who it was. I said, "Take a guess." (she's best friends with this girl I like, so it should be an easy guess for her.) She said she didn't know, because she couldn't think of any girls who are single (I felt my heart sink a bit...) I was like, "You've got one guess, I know you can do it..." And as I suspected, she guessed correctly. I gave her a little smirk, and then I heard it,..."She's involved with someone, though..."

I told her how Edgar told me she was single, and she said never to listen to anything Edgar says, that he thinks he knows the personal business of everyone in the office, but doesn't know a thing, he makes things up just to gossip...

And of course, I felt like a total idiot,... but she said I shouldn't feel that way. I asked her if she thought I'd have had a chance if I had asked this girl, and she said she didn't know. I said, "Well, based on the type of guy I am and the type of guy she likes." And she said probably not, as this girl can be kind of an odd duck. Which I admit, is one of the things I find attractive about her, I like quirky and silly girls...

Okay, off to sulk for the rest of the night... 'Night all...